DILF

Ha, a DILF. Don’t tell me Channing Tatum isn’t a Dad you’d like to f*ck. I don’t even necessarily like beefy guys, but this is one DILF I wouldn’t kick out of bed. Especially if he brought that puppy over to my house because hot dudes and puppies – what  more do you want?

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Tatum just had a baby with his main squeeze, Jenna Dewan. So not only does he have a banging bod, love puppies, and star in Step Up  AND Step Up 2: The Streets, (!!!!!!) he also probably coos to his baby a whole bunch and like, rubs Jenna’s feet when she’s tired. Hot.

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I don’t know what is with that pose, but I imagine it’s because he was a stripper once. That is a total stripper pose. So he can give you nightly strip teases too. Meow.

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So let’s hear it for this Sperm Spotlight hottie. Thanks Channing, for being such a bangable dad babe. AKA a DILF.

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xoxo, Lou

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Super Meat

Welcome to Hollywood, Henry Cavill! We cannot thank you enough for joining us here in the states, brining your sexy ass Jersey Island accent and chiseled bum into full, spectacular view.

Some may know him from his earlier work on Immortals:

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FILM Cavill 2

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(Helllloooooooooooooo, nurse!)

Or The Tudors:

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THE TUDORS

(for chrissake the man even looks tasty in a velvet doublet!)

And soon the Whole World will know him as Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman…

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Henry Screen Shot 2013-06-03 at 1.45.55 PM

….and for the inevitable Hammeltoe that results from That. Suit.

MAN OF STEEL

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Happy Monday, everyone! You’re welcome.

Photo Credits:

http://german.fansshare.com/gallery/photos/283390/Henry-Cavill-Huge-Back-Muscles-Workout/?displaying
http://blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/thegeekfiles/
http://henrycavill.org/images/stories/
http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/c/cavill_henry_110131/
http://static.tvgcdn.net/MediaBin/Galleries/Shows/S_Z/Tq_Tz/Tudors/season2/
http://cdn01.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2013/
http://www.youtube.com/ man of steel featurette
http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/
http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25000000/

Daily Meat Roundup

Welcome, Meat-Eaters! Here’s a little roundup of what’s on the Hollywood Meat radar this fine Thursday afternoon:

This Carnilady had the pleasure of watching The Great Gatsby last night and the crush I never knew I had on Leonardo Dicaprio throbbed to life. Something about a man in a pink suit…

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*Oh, hello Gatsby, feel free to join me in my bed. Pink suit optional. Or not. Actually, please wear the damn suit.*

p.s. photo credit goes to http://www.gentlemansgazette.com

One of our illustrious HM writers mentioned that Leo is her shame f*ck. I feel no shame about proclaiming my lusty feelings for Señor Dicaprio after seeing this movie. But then again, I’m a sucker for a good unrequited love story. As long as the guy is hot. And rich. And is someone I actually secretly want pining after me. And has a good head of hair. And a lot going in the pants. Know what I’m saying, ladies?

Next up: The one and only BOB BENSON!

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Photo Credit goes to http://30fps.mocksession.com/2013/05/26/bob-bensons-shorts-tho/

LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SHORTS!!! DON’T BE AFRAID! LOOK DIRECTLY AT THEM!!! If you haven’t yet experienced the joy that is Bob Benson on Mad Men, well then, I don’t even want to know you. There’s a lot of theories floating around ye olde internets about what purpose Mr. Benson is serving on the hit show but I don’t really care about any of that jazz. The dude is pulling off teeny tiny shorts. And I like it. Teeny man shorts are actually all the rage across the pond and goodness, I cannot wait until they hit the shores of this fine country. Just think of all the lovely, muscular legs that will be ripe for ogling. Men, quit hiding that ish under a bushel. Bust out them tiny shorts! But you know, only if you have legs worth ogling…

Prime Aged Meat:

First off, if you aren’t watching Nashville, then we can’t be friends. Seriously. Go sign up for a free damn Hulu+ account for a week and watch the whole season. I’m not even kidding. What the eff else do you have to do? It’s Thursday. Even if you’re at work, your boss is probably doing the exact same thing because that’s how frickin’ fun and soapy this damn show is.

Secondly, if you ARE watching Nashville, then you understand my tingly feelings for one Deacon Claybourne. Ugh. Charles Esten is doing some damn fine work on the show and that’s all well and good and all but look at him!

CHARLES ESTENPhoto credit: fanpop.com

nashville-deacanPhoto credit: popwatch.ew.com

That is one fine piece of middle aged meat. He’s got all the qualities I like in a man: a good head of hair that you can really grab onto, puppy dog eyes, plays guitar, always looks a little drunk, strong arms AND he’s 47 years old and he looks like pretty damn fine without his shirt on. *I’d post a picture but apparently Mr. Esten has some type of embargo on shirtless pictures of himself. Just go watch the season finale of Nashville if you don’t believe me. Gah!*

Getting Old, Getting Bloated, and Still Getting Me Hot

Look, I don’t care if Leonardo DiCaprio is getting old and bloated. I’d still do him. I think it’s the squinty eyes. I am such a sucker for a nice pair of squinty eyes. Also, he’s always on a yacht. He is no doubt a fun party boy, another one of my weaknesses. Who cares if he’s a little bloated when all I need him for is sloppy drunk sex on his boat and a never-ending supply of free booze and tropical vacations?

Editor’s Note: If you crushed on him when you were both 12 and he was on Growing pains, it’s time to embrace the New Leo. Who doesn’t love a good shame f*ck?

Some favorite Leo Looks:

BLOATED BABE

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Photo Credit: http://www.celebbitchy.com

SMOLDERING SQUINTS

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Photo Credit: http://www.treehugger.com

I LIKE THE WAY YOU SIT, BB

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Photo Credit: http://www.shame-full.com

Baby Goose Looks Better With Less Clothes

In his velvet suit, he still looks sharp, but I just don’t think Baby Goose is playing to his strengths here. Where are the abs and the pecs and the biceps, am I right??

Our little gosling may have a lot going for him, but when he shows up on the red carpet wearing so much… material, it’s just kinda disappointing.

ryan-gosling-premiere-the-place-beyond-the-pines-03 cn_image.size.ryan-gosling-place-beyond-the-pines Ryan-Gosling-In-Gucci-The-Place-Beyond-The-Pines-New-York-Premiere

PHOTO CREDIT: STEPHEN LOVEKIN, DAVE ALLOCCA; PHOTOS: GETTY, FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, STARPIX/JUST JARED

 

Let’s see more of this, Baby Goose! Yummers.

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PHOTO SOURCE: HTTP://WWW.TUMBLR.COM/TAGGED/ATTRACTIVE%20MEN